Lk 9:46-50

An argument arose among the disciples
about which of them was the greatest.
Jesus realized the intention of their hearts and took a child
and placed it by his side and said to them,
“Whoever receives this child in my name receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
For the one who is least among all of you
is the one who is the greatest.”

Then John said in reply,
“Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name
and we tried to prevent him
because he does not follow in our company.”
Jesus said to him,
“Do not prevent him, for whoever is not against you is for you.”

When you get down to it we are all like children.  We depend upon God for our needs. We can strive all of our lives for money and security, but in realtiy we are dependent on God to provide for our needs.  I find myself sometimes looking at what I do, at how much money I need to do it, and wonder where it will come from, and ultimately there is nothing I can do about it-I depend upon God.  I was looking at facebook yesterday and a colleague of mine has just received a large check for her ministry, in fact she is always receiving large amounts of money for her ministry, which is changing to those who are not really on the street. And I get a little jealous, for what do I do. I hang out, I feed people, I hold their hands, I do not do any great things like get them off the street, I simply walk with them. And I realize that for me is enough. Like a child I depend upon the good ness of God.  I spent yesterday finishing up the newsletter, and then I took last night off, I am going to the food bank to day, and then taking the day off. People often laugh when I say I am taking the day off--after all what do I do. Well for one thing I talk to twenty to fifty people a day, I walk with them, and try that for a day or two and you get a little tired, so I am taking the day off, praying, and resting. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!

July 2, Gen. 22:1-19; Mt. 9:1-8

Abraham trusted God, and Jesus trusted God, and trust for Jesus led to his going to the cross.  Today has been a rough day. I have cooked a meal, I had a young friend come in and is staying the night.  But I am simply exhausted. The elderly lady that I have been having trouble with tells my friend i did not listen to her and so on, and my friend wants to pass on the information. It bothered me because I do listen, I am good at listening, but in this case I think I understand now that what she meant is I listened to her about her beliefs and I did not buy them.  To me that is not a necessity for relationship to believe like I do, but in her case it is acceptance or no acceptance.  I also realize that I have become quite fond of her over the months and the total rejection is painful.  I had let my guard down. I think often about getting old and now about getting really sick, and I wonder what I would do.  Again it comes back to trusting, having faith. Ultimately that is what my journey in life has been about is having faith, and keeping the faith.  A quote that speaks to me now is from Paul of the Cross:

"When you feel the assaults of passion and anger, it is time to be silent as Jesus was in the midst of His sufferings." -

It is best to keep silent for ultimately in that silence there is redemption, and so I am keeping silent, but it hurts like hell.   Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!