I have talked in the past about me getting a job, moving out of my dad's, and moving in the right direction for me to travel the world.

About two weeks ago, my dad and I got in a fight (about what, who knows, but it was probably silly). I packed my things and left that night. I moved in with my friend and am... dealing with it as best I can. I've been pretty angry and confused and just a little lost about everything. If anything I feel exactly as I did when I was fifteen and that is a time and place I hate even looking at for how dangerous I was to myself.

I'm just trying to figure out what's going on inside so I can get over it. But right now I'm not entirely sure who or what I'm angry at. I know I take a lot of it out on my dad, though, and then he gets angry with me, but I know that despite all of that we'll still talk. Even though I've left the house and him and it was all done in anger, we're still alright. And I've told him about my plans to go around the world. He was... hesitant... to say in the least, but he's supportive. He's even helping me look up stuff to get my documents in order and he's going to help me pay my credit card (that he maxed out). So his support means something.

But it's hard, like I said. I'm just trying my hardest. I work all the time and I keep track of my money. I set up a checking account and I'm working on getting a Mint account set up so I can view my credit card statement as well as my bank account statement and see how much I can afford to pay each month. I'm pretty happy with how I'm getting everything in order and I'm happy that I'm being able to do all of this. 

By the way, Wal Mart is not such a bad place to work. The people are nice, the hours are good, and the pay isn't bad. And over half the people I work with are in college or are going back for their Master's degrees. If you've ever said something rude about a Wal Mart employee, think again, Buddy. Just because they work at Wal Mart doesn't mean they're stupid.

By just clicking you can give food to those in need, free mammograms to all women, Vitamin A to children, make sure people can read and write, save the rainforest, and help the animals. Wow, that is one powerful button.

There's also a store filled with organic things and neat gift ideas. Don't forget to check it out! I could buy it all!

www.thehungersite.com 

And that place is in the home and preferrably in the kitchen.

 A few weeks ago I watched an episode of Wife Swap where one woman read this book on how to be a good wife. This book happened to be published in the 50s when all women were chaste and wore skirts and curled their hair to perfection. Every woman knew how to cook a good meal and, not unlike in Pleasantville, they smiled and welcomed their husbands like they were the world. Or something like that. I couldn't imagine my dad's mother bowing before my grandpa when he came home from working on the railroad (that's blue collar for you).

 Point being, the book was somewhat outdated, but this woman believed very deeply in it. At first, I shook my head. It was pretty silly to think that your needs should come second to anyone, even your husband. And why shouldn't he stay home and do the cooking and cleaning? Aren't their plenty of house husbands these days? But by the end of the show I realized that that's what I wanted.

 I'm not saying I want a life of servitude, because I'm a little more independent than that, but I want to be a house wife. I have the hugest problem finding a career, but I eventually will. But what about my kids? I think daycare is good, because I was there and it taught me to not cling to my father's leg 24/7, but I think spending so much time with my dad was good for me. I think kids should grow up around their families, not strangers trying to act motherly. Besides, you never know with daycare. My nephew's babysitter actually locked him in a bedroom when he was seven and to this day (he'll be sixteen soon) he cannot even shut a door while he's alone in a room.

 Not only does being a house wife eliminate that dreaded career search and babysitter in my life, but it allows me to do things that I like without leaving my home and being put under pressure. I can write, I can research, I can do the laundry. Wait what? Yeah, I like doing laundry. It gives me time to think. I also like doing dishes and vacuuming, but don't tell my dad that or he'll expect me to do it all the time.

 Not every woman should do this, though. Not every married woman should stay home and take care of her children and clean her house every day, because it's not for everyone. While I like to clean, cook, and ultimately want to be there for my children, I know my best friend wants a career outside of her home and would be more comfortable putting her child in daycare and hiring a maid. I also don't think I'd mind taking my husband's coat and asking him how his day was. But I draw the line at rubbing his feet and clipping his nails. He's a big boy, he can do it himself.

(One small point here, my friend tells her boyfriend to rub her feet every day. This bothers me because he wakes up at six and works until five. When he comes home he's tired and wants to rest. She demands a foot rub and a massage. That's rude. Especially considering she just sits at home all day and watches television. I'm not saying she needs to rub his feet, but she shouldn't demand him to do something that she wouldn't do for him after he's been working and she hasn't.) 

In May of 1955, Housekeeping Monthly ran a short article which included these suggestions for wives (take them how you will): 

* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

* Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

* Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his personal comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

* Be happy to see him.

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not one of them. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

* Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

* Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself body and spirit.

* Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

* A good wife always knows her place.

In 6th grade we were asked what our favorite animals were. There were the usual horses, dogs, and alligators and then there was me. I answered with a fairly unknown creature to my classmates. The snow leopard. I'd found the animal in the 4th grade thanks to the Zoo Books my dad signed my up for. 

Now when asked my favorite animal I say the cow, but the zebra and snow leopard (seeing a black and white pattern here?) are coming in at close seconds.

This means that I still care very much about the snow leopard, which has been considered endangered since the 1960's. Because of poaching, farmer's seeking retribution, and loss of prey the snow leopard population is still decreasing even though it has been labeled an endangered species and a 5-15 year jail sentence has been slapped on in countries like Nepal.

But $10,000 can be raised for snow leopard protection through Kearsely Fund and Sengupta Fund. How? Didn't anyone ever tell you it was easy? All you have to do is sign up for the e-newsletter! And it's free for you. How easy is that?

 http://www.snowleopard.org/news/currentnews/sign-up-to-save-snow-leopards

Picture 1: Photo credit: Photo by Dennis Conner. Courtesy of Snow Leopard Trust.
Photo location: Woodland Park Zoo; Seattle, WA USA

Picture 2:Photo credit: Photo by Rod Jackson. Courtesy of Snow Leopard Trust.
Photo location: Nepal

I've always wanted to travel. I think it's in my blood, because my dad was a bit of a vagabonder back in the day. He stayed in the United States and managed to visit every place he felt the need to go to and did it while avoiding tourist traps and saving money (although, he didn't really have any money to spend). He's lived in Illinois, Texas, Oregon, and good ol' South Dakota, but he's been to Washington, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, Missouri, Missippi, Idaho, Montana, Minnesota, Wyoming, North Dakota and Colorado. Not to mention a few trips across the border into Canada, because "I just could".

 That's my dad's way of thinking: "I just could". I take a different approach by thinking "I'll deal with it when I get there". It's actually pretty similar when you break it down. Dad did things on a whim, because he was young and able and the country was really at his fingertips (this was the late sixties and the seventies, by the way). I do things on a whim and then I call my dad to help me figure it all out. So, pretty much, I'm using his system and my stunning ability to whine over the phone to help me get places.

But "dealing with it when I get there" and doing it all just because "I could" isn't helping me right now. I lost my first job interview, because I was too nervous and not thinking it through. I was unprepared and a little childish to my could-have-been employer. But I hold another job interview that I am most determined to win with my wonderful answers of, "I'm a stronger worker who is extremely reliable. I graduated in May of '09 and was in the top 5 of my class. I didn't do sports, because I'm not financially inclined, but am able to work well in a team, as I have lead my class groups to A grades victoriously." Maybe not exactly like that, but you get me.

What does getting this job have to do with me needing to travel? I need money to travel. So working for $8 an hour every single day for the next two years, I should raise the appropriate amount of money to get my butt to the white sandy beaches of Australia. I am also getting the hankering to go to Vietnam. I shall have to discuss this with my travel partner when she gets back to New York. Which reminds me, the hardest part of this planning so far is the fact that my travel partner is not accessible to me.

Normally she lives five miles away and I live on her couch on days off school. I watch sports with her mom's boyfriend, tell her mom how good the food is, and tell Brittany (my travel buddy) that she needs to get her big head out of the way of the Law and Order episode I'm trying to watch. But during the summers she lives in Staten Island. I suggested this trip in June, after sitting on the idea since last September, so we're trying to plan while being so many miles apart. But in about 12 days, order will be restored and I will be sitting on Brittany's couch with my little journal of ideas for her to go over and complain about.

Tip: If you plan on traveling with a friend, plan while you're in the same state, maybe even the same town. It makes it easier to gauge how your partner is reacting and makes it easier for you to hand the reigns over when you're feeling burnt out from the thousands of travel blogs you've been reading.

Another tip: Think realistically time wise. If you're working for $8 an hour and are only working 7 hours a day, that means you aren't making much. Get a second job. And push your trip off a little bit. Why do think Brittany and I aren't going until 2011? Plan wisely and accordingly for the time you'll be on the road, but don't plan to death. You want a little leeway to hop a train to Munich if you so desire.

On another note, I feel like an expert from just living vicariously through other travelers. Which reminds me of why I put this blog up in the first place! The inspiration behind my trip, the person who really got me itching to set sail across the globe and live in bug infested hostels, is named Brook Silva-Braga. You may have seen his documentary on MTV called A Map For Saturday. You haven't? Well, you can order it from his site, which is the ONLY place you can order it from. He's an inspiration and the blog he kept throughout his travels only makes me want to get out there more. He even helped clear some rubble in Koh Phi Phi, Thailand after a tsunami there.

Brook Silva-Braga