being homeless and surviveing

Hi I used to be homeless I was homeless for 3 years. I started behind a building with absoultly nothing no clothes no food no blankest nothng at night i'd curl up trying to pull my shirt to cover my legs and i'd tuck my srms inside my shirt whaen it would rain i'd have to take my chances and loiter at the nearby convience store. I found a little wooded spot not far from there behind a store some old plywood that became my bed. It wasn't long when the clerks learned I was homeless I then got hotdogs once a day and a fountain drink as long as I had a cup for free I met people girls who walked the street people who were junkies and ones who sold dope. Odly enough they became my family they looked out for me I met a man who fed pigieons at the store he would being clothes and blankets and in time even a tent. Worse thing was haveing no ID no money and no address. You can't even work a daily pay place without ID. My boyfrend would help me a little when I first bacame homeless by letting me come stay where he worked at night so I could shower that didn't last long when his job gave him a choice his job or helping me he choose me. Now a litttle money and we could get some food and ciggerettess and drinks he had ID so he started work out of a labor hall 30 to 50 dollars then minus taxes that bought something to eat 2 packs of very cheap ciggerettes and a cheap 4 pack of beer to feed his habit. As time went by we both found a new habbit called drugs food bacame secondary and the drugs killed the pain of feeling helplessnes and hurt lonliness failure fear it got you through it all, Drugs also had its downs it was a world of girls who walked the streets for money and guys who were knowen as the dope boys, bonds of love were broken others jealous of a love that was real could make up things to put distrust in relationships and soon I was alone no boyfriend just dope boys and street girls i was beat so bad I was left for dead by my boyfriend in the woods so what do you do after a week or so recovering from injuries I make an appereance on the street your so called friends want to get you high for free cuz they think it helps and they feel sorry for you that only last for so long cuz to stay high its a hussel for money to get more now as the days go by you get hungry but things are different while you are in hideing and staying high in a crack whore house life is happening and not all of its good cuz the store where you got free hotdogs and soda has had some mishaps the now put rules on the homeless and now the freebeees stop so like othe girls I had to make a choice I had to eat I was sick lost a lot of weight I became a street girl my money went for food and drugs the just drugs to kill the shame and discrace I felt as I met people a real sence of reality came back I took my money from turning tricks and got my ID got a job out of the labor hall and after food and drink and ciggerettes yea I got my drugs that all became lost when I hated me I didnt like doing what I had to with men and work was slow for a female lucky to work 2 to 3 days a week I remember crying I was hungry didnt want to walk the streets any more this ficous mery go round soon got old and I found a few places to get help there was places that gave you free canned food and stuff i now had to start trusting peopel I didnt know i had to humbel myself I had to tell people I was a homeless girl who walked the street smoked dope ans lost my lfe my fasmily my children it was still in my heart even being alone and who I was pretty much you made people feel sorry for you and if lucky enough somebody believed in you gave you a place to live and thats when the struggles got worse you come to a point being homeless is your home it don't matter that you want a better life and now its in your hands but its not what you expected cuz you don't know this stranger who is giveing you a chance your far from every one you know who shares your pains and now the stranger wants you in there bed and you just wanted up away from the streets and suddenly you want the streets back at least the dope if your going to apease the stranger and then the stranger finds out you hold your own and the game of playing house ind pretending is over and they claim to be in love with you its back to the streets.for me my real sence of who I was before the streets was a strong desire to change my life and a few mishaps with the law and jail became my eye opener so i turned to being a street girl less drugs I was going to come up I was going to show the world I can do this and I became real I even met a man who became a real friend he wasn't a trick he was just someone out there who became intrigued with me and he started giveing me money just so I didn't have to turn tricks he brought me food and he took me for rides and I saw life he was my best friend and the stranger who wanted what I couldn't give he became my friend as I became a human again for the most of it and God became my saviour prayed became my light tradgedy of a shooting of a dope boy wh was a friend to me his unfournate death became real to me and my new found friends bacame my escape from the streets. Then one day with a cell phone bought for me by a friend and a phone call to my mom was the begining to an end. I now was helping someone else liveing life and falling in love and finding famly again soon after 3 years plus I was in a home job huntng going to dinner the beach and the woods were visions as I drove past them.As foer the girls and the dope boys well they were my friends and family they started off hurting me and changeing my life but they also helped me when I was out there and still offer help to this day I became there friend not there cracker that they could sell dope to. I guess point of my story is to say hey if your out there tell everyone and anyone about you be real cuz there are real people out there who can help you but the key is you need to want to help yourself if its going to happen second of all remember your no better then anybody else keepng it real will benfiit better then the hussel don't froget your experiences wand where you came from or where you've been find your higher power pray and stop waiting for it to happen you have to work for a better tomomrow or all you do is use a system to feed a habbit or to get by and when its gone your still where? do it for real be real cuz you can survive the streets and for me to go back showing the street people look I did it so can you I have more respect today and the satisfaction of going back and helping someone else is awesome but keep it real.